“I want to eat it ‘til it makes me sick.” This is a saying that I heard many times, growing up. Nope, it wasn’t a joke. And it stuck. My weight has been a roller coaster ALL MY LIFE.
I was raised by people with food issues. So I’m second generation! It messes with me, even after getting a Lap band in 2010. (picture below is at my heaviest weight, right before having the Lap band.)
I maintained a 100 lb weight loss for 3 years but over the last year, it has started coming back on slowly. (In all honesty, I wasn’t done losing weight, when I stopped. But when you lose that much weight, you start feeling FANTASTIC and you get complacent.)
I’ve flirted with several different eating plans this year, interspersed with short periods of bingeing on sugary, bad stuff, just so much that my weight creeps up, not down…
All that being said, I am lucky. I’m happy, I’m loved, I’m blessed. I don’t obsess about my appearance any more. (Used to be full blown psychotic about it, now I’m only slightly annoyed.) I care about health, I care about feeling good and being able to do everything I want to do. I care about my clothes fitting well. That’s all.
Recently I bought a Fitbit and I’m really enjoying using it. AND I walk a lot further than I thought I did, just in my daily, normal activities. (I reach 10,000 steps almost every day, unless it’s a knitting day.)
AND… damn, I have a band on my stomach. I had it put there to help me control my weight THE REST OF MY LIFE. We spent thousands of dollars so that I could let go of this issue. So why am I not using it? (I was embarrassed for the doctor to see that I had gained a little weight back.) Isn’t that
the stupidest thing ever?
So, I’m going to focus on the positive:
I quit Diet Coke 4 years ago. (I’ve had a handful since then but that was cutting down from exclusive Diet Coke consumption – 6-8 per day.) And I haven’t had one this year at all. Soon as I was convinced that Aspartame was evil, I swore it off. Now I drink a cup of coffee in the morning and water with lemon throughout the day.
I’ve started making fruit smoothies for the boys and me. None of us are crazy about fresh fruit, but put it in a blender with a little real maple syrup or agave and it’s dessert! So happy that my picky kid likes them too.
Not to mention, I quit smoking 17 years ago, in July. I’ve probably had my anniversary already this year. If I can do that, I should be able to do anything, right?
My Lab Band clinic in Greeley, CO, closed their doors earlier this year. I’ve been forced to find a new doctor. I have an appointment on July 21st to have some imaging to check on the band and to possibly get a fill and hopefully a rules reminder.
Wish me luck as I venture into a continued weight loss/health journey.