Weight and Food Issues

“I want to eat it ‘til it makes me sick.”  This is a saying that I heard many times, growing up.  Nope, it wasn’t a joke.  And it stuck. My weight has been a roller coaster ALL MY LIFE.

I was raised by people with food issues.  So I’m second generation!  It messes with me, even after getting a Lap band in 2010.  (picture below is at my heaviest weight, right before having the Lap band.)

I maintained a 100 lb weight loss for 3 years but over the last year, it has started coming back on slowly. (In all honesty, I wasn’t done losing weight, when I stopped.  But when you lose that much weight, you start feeling FANTASTIC and you get complacent.)

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I’ve flirted with several different eating plans this year, interspersed with short periods of bingeing on sugary, bad stuff,  just so much that my weight creeps up, not down…

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All that being said, I am lucky. I’m happy, I’m loved, I’m blessed.  I don’t obsess about my appearance any more.  (Used to be full blown psychotic about it, now I’m only slightly annoyed.)  I care about health, I care about feeling good and being able to do everything I want to do.  I care about my clothes fitting well.  That’s all.

Recently I bought a Fitbit and I’m really enjoying using it.  AND I walk a lot further than I thought I did, just in my daily, normal activities. (I reach 10,000 steps almost every day, unless it’s a knitting day.)

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AND…  damn, I have a band on my stomach.  I had it put there to help me control my weight THE REST OF MY LIFE.  We spent thousands of dollars so that I could let go of this issue.  So why am I not using it? (I was embarrassed for the doctor to see that I had gained a little weight back.)  Isn’t that

the stupidest thing ever?

So, I’m going to focus on the positive: 

I quit Diet Coke 4 years ago.  (I’ve had a handful since then but that was cutting down from exclusive Diet Coke consumption – 6-8 per day.)  And I haven’t had one this year at all.  Soon as I was convinced that Aspartame was evil, I swore it off.  Now I drink a cup of coffee in the morning and water with lemon throughout the day.

I’ve started making fruit smoothies for the boys and me.  None of us are crazy about fresh fruit, but put it in a blender with a little real maple syrup or agave and it’s dessert!  So happy that my picky kid likes them too.

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Not to mention, I quit smoking 17 years ago, in July.  I’ve probably had my anniversary already this year.  If I can do that, I should be able to do anything, right?

My Lab Band clinic in Greeley, CO, closed their doors earlier this year.  I’ve been forced to find a new doctor.  I have an appointment on July 21st to have some imaging to check on the band and to possibly get a fill and hopefully a rules reminder.

Wish me luck as I venture into a continued weight loss/health journey.

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4 thoughts on “Weight and Food Issues

  1. My dr left the clinic too, which means I’m not interested in them. Lots of politics after a clinic purchase that put distaste in my mouth for them. Loved my dr. I’ve regained tons. Too much bad eating. One disdain is the dietician who was supposed to guide the journey was a total witch. Only supportive of those who were the magazine-success-type patients. I mean, she would yell and be rude if you didn’t do something right. Ugh. So, yeah, I need to find my wagon and get back on it, but I doubt it will ever be as good as those early years of loss. I’m a stress eater, and I’ve got more than my share of that. 😦 You can do it tho! You’ve got a great outlook.

    1. Tracey, you need to find a doctor (and staff) that you can work with. Do I remember correctly? You got rid of the band and got a sleeve? You paid them so much money and it was supposed to be for life. I’ve finally gotten wise and figured this out and I’m looking at it as starting all over. I don’t have as much to lose this time either! It should be easier! (that’s what I’m telling myself.)
      I haven’t been to the new doc yet, but I’m hopeful that everyone is nice and supportive. They were nice at my original clinic but never very personable… I like building relationships with people. So that’s what I’m hoping for. I know the girl I spoke with on the telephone was very nice and fun, joking around with me, seemed informed and professional too. I have high hopes.

  2. My favorite line and to be honest I want to repeat, repeat and believe it myself “All that being said, I am lucky. I’m happy, I’m loved, I’m blessed. I don’t obsess about my appearance any more” You care about the most important things it seems these days and I’m proud of you for quitting the smoking habit years ago and keeping yourself free from it even now. I also have a fitbit. I went crazy with it the first 6 weeks or so. Then…we had an anniversary so I took it off and have had a hard time putting it back on because if I do…it means I must walk. I sit at a desk half my days and getting 10,000 is hard work. I have to go at it with intention and lately I’m tired. You inspire me with this post. We are all in this together.

    1. I think my outlook has matured a lot over the last few years. So many things more important, more rewarding, more worthy of our time than to worry about the number on the scale or the size of our jeans…
      I’m having fun with the Fitbit, but I’m not using it to the extent that I plan to in the near future. I’m getting close to 10,000 daily in my normal activities. I just got a badge that I completed 50 miles and couldn’t believe it… holy cow!

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