I’m Psychotic.

Scale2 I'll admit it.  My husband will tell you.  I'm psychotic about my weight.  I've been fat, I've been skinny and every degree in between.  I was a chubby little girl and endured all the abuse that school children dish out, which I believe with all my heart, scarred me for life.  How else can you explain a woman who weighs 110 lbs at 5'7" tall, thinking she's fat.  (that's where I was in my 20s and early 30s lots of times.)

So, I've been obsessively pissed off and discouraged for weeks now because last check-up with the skinny doctor, way back in October, I gained 3 lbs.  And I had talked myself into the possibility that the lap-band was done and maybe the weight loss was over…  I thought I was gaining weight.  My next appointment with the doctor isn't until December 28th and I felt like my brain would explode before then, if I didn't find out what was going on with my body.  So I weighed myself. 

The results were so positive, I sat in the bathroom and cried.  I sat on my bathroom floor and cried.  (told you…  psychotic.)  I've lost 78 lbs now.  It's a slow process these days, so slow in fact, that I was able to talk myself into thinking I was gaining weight.  So, down a few more pounds is just perfect with me.  I now have the positive reinforcement I need to move forward with serious effort again.  My honey is going to fix my bike today.  (haven't worked out since we got the new puppy, who on one of her first nights in her new home, chewed through the electrical cord on my stationary bike.)

Also rewarded myself with some new clothes yesterday.  Clothes shopping has become fun again!  Thankfully we live in a town with very little available shopping places…  Got 2 new pairs of jeans in another smaller size.  And 3 new sweaters.  It's such a joy to NOT be hot all the time!  I so much prefer to be chilly and wear a cute sweater! 

Truth be told, I still have 50 lbs to go and it may take a good while.  But I feel GOOD and I even think I might be looking a little……….  cute.


4 thoughts on “I’m Psychotic.

  1. You’ll get there! I haven’t lost in a year….but I don’t try either. Hoping post-holiday time brings more effort from ME to do so. I’d like to lose 25 more..no where near my “ideal weight,” but what I think is realistic for me. And if you lose no more, remember, you are happier and healthier and skinnier now for the effort no matter what!

  2. I’m so happy for you, Tina. I think you’re looking gorgeous (last I saw you). I agree that having a little positive reinforcement helps a lot. Keep up the good work!

  3. A little cute!?! Are you kidding me? You’re adorable!
    I’m so proud of you and your weight loss. I can totally relate to crying at your weight loss.
    It’s such an emotional ride.
    Keep at it Tina! I’m cheering for you 100% of the way.

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